A Reel Review - X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX

X-MEN: DARK PHOENIX, the 12^thinstallment in the superpowered-mutant series since 2000, has gained a lot of attention for its off-screen happenings. The production has been troubled; going through several reshoots and a complete reworking of the third act. It is also the final X-MEN film made by 20^thCentury Fox before the rights to make mutant movies rightfully go back to Marvel Studios. None of this really matters, as we should only be reacting to what we see on the screen…unless of course all these issues show up on the screen. 

It is 1992, and the X-Men, led by Charles Xavier (James McAvoy), are called upon to rescue the space shuttle from a mysterious energy surge in space. During the mission, Jean Grey (Sophie Turner), is infused with un-measurable amounts of power that tap into her dark side and unleash her painful memories, making her a threat to everyone. Meanwhile, a race of shape-shifting aliens, led by Vuk (Jessica Chastain), have arrived on Earth looking to harness Jean’s power. 

The first hour of DARK PHOENIX is as good as any X-MEN film that we have seen in the last 19 years. The plot is simple; save Jean from her own destructive power before she wipes everyone out, and prevent the mysterious, shape-shifting aliens from stealing said power. Entangled in this are several character stories within the X-Men: Xavier is getting too sure of himself with Mystique (Jennifer Lawrence), calling him out on it, Jean is troubled by her hidden past, Beast (Nicholas Hoult) is caught in the middle of it, while Cyclops (Tye Sheridan), just wants to be with his girl Jean. 

There are decent seeds planted for character drama, but each one of these stories don’t come naturally and are either resolved quickly or not at all. Other characters such as Magneto (Michael Fassbender), and Quicksilver (Evan Peters), have little or nothing to do and easily could have been omitted without any noticeable gaps. There’s a lot of forced drama, and none of it really works. 

But where DARK PHOENIX crash-lands is in the editing. Scenes cut back-and-forth between characters like a ping-pong ball and gives the feeling that actors were never on set together at the same time (perhaps because of reshoots), and characters act inconsistently from scene to scene. Hans Zimmer’s score (which is excellent), is played way too loud in all the wrong places; scenes that should be quiet with character dialogue has the score pounding away in the background and it’s an annoyance. 

But the most shocking thing of all the issues in DARK PHOENIX is just how goddamn boring it is. Despite many large-scale setpieces, there are no stand-up-and-cheer moments, nothing to take breaths away, and nothing to laugh or cry over; it’s as bland as paper. And with the character drama half-baked, DARK PHOENIX turns into one empty and blah movie. Visual effects are good in some places while others look like they were ripped out of a video game from 10 years ago. 

Acting is all over the place. Sophie Turner is the highlight as her character goes through a lot. The rest of them all look like they just want to get it over with. 

Director Simon Kinberg and Fox tried to adapt this DARK PHOENIX storyline for the big screen back in 2006 with the reviled THE LAST STAND, and this time they did not do any better. This curtain call for this version of the X-MEN is dull, boring, half-assed, and edited with metal claws. And for the second movie in a row, it tells us of a dangerous, world-ending threat that is taken care of in less than two hours. Pointless and forgettable.

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it