A Reel Review: SAW 3D

OPENING REMARKS: Despite the obvious encouragement of the studios, this blogger intended NOT to view this film in 3D. Every film should be able to be judged upon its own merits of content, entertainment, etc. Nothing should need a gimmick to make things complete. Unfortunately, the world is being taken over by Satan, and this Opus of Shit was made unavailable in 2D in this blogger’s market.

On to business:

SAW 3D (or VII) looks to carry on the tradition of its VI predecessors by offering gory man-traps which are supposed to provide meaning in a larger tale of humanity and retribution, weaved around a mystery of who-dun-it. It is a formula that has kept the die-hard fans of the series blindly coming back for more every year. VII tries really hard to get one element right, but forgets to pay attention to another in what is supposed to be the grand finale of the series.

As Jigsaws heir-apparent Hoffman (Costas Mandylor) battles Jigsaw’s widow Jill (Betsy Russell) for the Jigsaw legacy, a group of Jigsaw survivors seek the help of self-proclaimed man-trap survivor Bobby (Sean Patrick Flannery). Bobby finds himself in another maze of traps to atone for his dark secrets, while Dr. Gordon (Cary Elwes) returns to explain his fate that we never saw at the end of I.

The series has always prided itself on the cleverness and horror of its man-traps, and VII is no different. But what makes things fall flat is the lack of a mystery. We know Bobby has to navigate/survive the traps, we know Hoffman is the bad guy who wants to kill Jill (not Bill), and after that there’s nothing of interest. Seeing Bobby go from trap to trap, led by an endless supply of no-longer-creepy puppets, becomes tedious, not to mention…somewhat boring. It’s hard not to watch trap-after-trap and say “I feel like I’ve seen this before”.

The Hoffman vs. Jill storyline becomes more of a cat-and-mouse game with an obvious inevitable showdown. There is no mystery behind it, and the way it plays out in the end is nothing that could not have been resolved IV movies ago. Jigsaw (Tobin Bell) is reduced to small cameos here and there, and his status as a prophet and genius is pushed way to the back of the room. His presence feels like an afterthought, and almost intrusive.

The traps are gory and bloody and offer some squeamish moments. However each one, especially the last one, pushes the realm of believability and is far and removed from the cleverness of the first and even second film. Lots of blood and hacked-up bodies are present; and while the gore is nicely done via CGI and practical effects, it’s not very scary and doesn’t help matters much in a “horror” film.

Director Kevin Greutert offers little to the mix and contributes to the mundane feel. What’s interesting here is that things look a lot more colorful than past attempts which were shot in flat tones. This may be because of the 3D (most 3D films suffer from being too dark), but the problem is the overuse of color makes things look fake and unconvincing. The uncharacteristic color and unrealistic scenarios make the entire run feel like a parody. The Third Dimension is shockingly under-used, and offers little other than a few pointy things and a handful of projectiles.

The grand finale is probably seen from 100 miles away by die-hards of the franchise, and feels like a tack-on more than a proper bookend that followers deserve. There is also a moment near the end that is such a Jump-the-Shark/Nuke-the-Fridge moment that it’s laughable and murders the credibility of everything. A shame, as followers of this storyline for 7 years should get more for their overpriced 3D ticket. Jigsaw has left the building; not with a bang, but with a quiet slip into nothingness.

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it.