Reel Facts & Opinions: STAR WARS EPISODE VII has a Director

FACT:

Various sources are reporting that JJ Abrams is the Chosen One. 

Abrams has been selected to direct the next STAR WARS film, unofficially titled EPISODE VII. 

Abrams big-screen directing credits include STAR TREK (2009), SUPER 8 (2011), MISSION IMPOSSIBLE III (2006). His next film will be STAR TREK: INTO DARKNESS coming this May. 

The script for EPISODE VII is being written by Michael Arndt, the Oscar-winning screenwriter of LITTLE MISS SUNSHINE (2006), and TOY STORY 3 (2010). 

OPINION:

This is tremendous news for this Blogger and STAR WARS fans. In the past few years, Abrams has shown the type of creativity, boldness, and most importantly, the spirit of adventure in his films that STAR WARS is all about. His work in STAR TREK shows his love for science fiction while not forgetting character, and as flawed as SUPER 8 might have been, it managed to speak to the kid in all of us. The Twin Suns are shining brightly!

What say you?

Reel Facts & Opinions: The Schwarzenegger Bomb

Arnold Schwarzenegger’s return to the big screen arrived with an Austrian Oak-sized thud this past weekend, earning a miserable $6.3 million domestically, good enough for tenth place at the box office. The action film, THE LAST STAND, which was his first leading-role in nearly a decade after entering politics, was in essence a probe; sent out to test the waters for future Arnold films and franchises which includes a third CONAN film, a fifth TERMINATOR flick, and a possible sequel to TWINS (1988).

The box office failure of THE LAST STAND questions the possibility of future big-budget flicks with Arnold as the leading man, and also has fans and critics wondering what went wrong with the iconic actor whose films once always delivered the moolah. Defenders of the film are quick to point out that recent events have now put us into a more gun-shy America which will now veer away from violent films. However, the financial success by recent pro-violent films such as ZERO DARK THIRTY and DJANGO UNCHAINED says otherwise. Heck, even the critically drubbed GANGSTER SQUAD with all of its Tommy-Guns finished in fourth place in its second week of release.

So what happened? Smart moviegoers know that January and February are the traditional dumping-grounds for bad movies. No matter who the star is people know there isn’t much quality to see in these months, so they simply don’t buy a ticket. And the reason why it was released in this time of the year is that it is indeed a lousy movie. The critics gave it its rightful drubbing, and the negative word-of-mouth which followed kept people away.

There is also a possible cold hard truth; Arnold isn’t a box office hit anymore. Prior to entering his political career, his last eight movies ranged from mixed to outright stink; TERMINATOR 3, COLLATERAL DAMAGE, THE 6^TH DAY, END OF DAYS, BATMAN & ROBIN, JINGLE ALL THE WAY, ERASER, and JUNIOR. In fact, you have to go all the way back to James Cameron’s TRUE LIES (1994) to find Arnold’s last good film. An argument could be made that he has picked up his career right where he left off; making crap. And all this doom and gloom for the nearly 66-year old action star doesn’t bode well for two other older fellas who are trying to keep their shoot-em-up film careers firing; Sylvester Stallone’s BULLET TO THE HEAD and Bruce Willis’ fifth DIE HARD film both open in the month of (ahem) February.

But Arnold and his pals shouldn’t be completely written off. If THE LAST STAND proved anything, it’s that the big guy still has the charisma and physical chops to provide entertainment. But what made his earlier films so successful is that he worked with good directors who knew exactly how to utilize him; James Cameron, James McTiernan, John Milus, and Paul Verhoeven practically built their films around him. Granted, we are into a new generation of filmmakers now, but hopefully Arnold can link himself up with the right ones who know how to utilize him, and give him and his fans the deserved quality.  Just make good movies.

What say you?

A Reel Review: THE LAST STAND

There are two ways in which one can look at THE LAST STAND; Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first leading-role in nearly a decade. The first way is how it holds up as an Arnold Film; with his classic quips and plenty of action. The second is how it fares as an actual movie, which of course, is what really matters. 

Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger) is “da sheriff” in a sleepy town on the Mexican border. When a drug kingpin (Eduardo Noriega) escapes the FBI (led by Forest Whitaker) with the help of his right-hand man (Peter Stormare) and heads for the border, Owens rallies his rag-tag group of knucklehead deputies (Luis Guzman, Johnny Knoxville, Jaimie Alexander, Zach Gilford) to seal off the town and prevent his escape. 

THE LAST STAND works as a Schwarzenegger vehicle for exactly one-half of the film. Arnold gets to fire big guns, fist-fight, rip-off some great one-liners and look cool standing against the horizon. The cleverest thing about the film is that the entire script seems to be a statement on his career as it stands at this point. Owens is a character who once tackled the world with the enthusiasm and zeal of a young man, but is now taking things easy and is very much aware of his age and limitations…which is exactly how Arnold is now in his life. Between that interesting parallel and the standard quips  you expect from an Arnold film (except for one particular line), THE LAST STAND rears some great potential. 

Unfortunately, director Jee-woon Kim doesn’t keep the momentum going whenever he finds it. The film veers away from Arnold for long stretches of time; often putting the big guy and his never-ending charisma on the backburner while attention is given to useless and boring subplots involving the minor characters which no one ever cares about. Character development only happens whenever a character stands there and literally tells us about themselves (weak), and the main threat of the villain is never really felt. 

The action sequences range from pretty good to outrageously over the top. Blood is splattered in gallons and plenty of bodies are blown all over the place. As much we see of it, however, it feels very un-inspired and often grows tedious. 

Acting is ho-hum throughout. Arnold gives us exactly, if not a little less than what we’ve seen of him for the past three decades. He’s still very much a charmer, but seems to struggle more than usual with the comedy. He’s at his best when he’s paired with his natural sidekick in the form of Johnny Knoxville’s bug-nuts character, but the film never bothers to put the two together enough for it to be very effective. 

As an Arnold Schwarzenegger film, it easily ranks around the lower-tier of his extensive film credits. As an overall movie, the script is messy and relies on cliché too much. It comes off as dumb and boring, and no amount of Giant Movie Star can save it. 

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it

A Reel Preview: The Year in Film 2013- Episode I

In this first Episode of previewing The Year in Film 2013, Reel Speak looks at the remainder of January and all of February.

 

The first two months of the year can easily be considered Movie Siberia; films that are not nearly good enough for Oscar Season (September thru December), and below the standards for the Summer Movie Season (May thru July), usually get banished to this desolate part of the world where they are seldom seen or heard from. However, every once in a while a few sparks of life can emerge from the barren wasteland; these are the films which have a little potential to rise above their exile.

January

THE LAST STAND – Arnold Schwarzenegger is back in his first leading role since 2003 as a small town sheriff who wages war against a drug kingpin (Peter Stormare). Packed full of violence and cliché characters, Johnny Knoxville and Forest Whitaker also star.

MAMA – This Guillermo del Toro produced (but not directed) horror flick embraces the notion that nothing works better in delivering scares than a creepy little kid. Jessica Chastain (ZERO DARK THIRTY) stars.

BROKEN CITY – In this drama directed by Allen Hughes (THE BOOK OF ELI), Mark Wahlberg is an ex-cop turned private eye who is hired to spy on the cheating wife of the Mayor (Catherine Zeta-Jones and Russell Crowe).

February

JOHN DIES AT THE END – This little indie flick, which involves two knuckleheads who are tasked with saving the world, has been gaining its own cult following at film festivals in the past year. Rob Mayes, Chase Williamson, and Paul Giamatti star in this Don Coscarelli (BUBBA HO-TEP) directed film.

BULLET TO THE HEAD – This film is a near carbon-copy of THE LAST STAND, right down to its leading man. Sylvester Stallone is a hit-man who teams up with a cop to wage war against the killers of their respective partners. Based on a graphic novel, BULLET TO THE HEAD is directed by Walter Hill (48 HRS., STREETS OF FIRE).

SIDE EFFECTS – In what may be the final film by Steven Soderbergh (OCEAN’S ELEVEN, TRAFFIC)…Rooney Mara (DRAGON TATTOO, THE SOCIAL NETWORK) suffers unexplained (ahem) side effects from her prescribed medications. Jude Law, Catherine Zeta-Jones, and Channing Tatum star in this psycho-sexual thriller.

A GLIMPSE INSIDE THE MIND OF CHARLES SWAN III – Take a look at the unique trailer (HERE) for this little flick written and directed by Roman Coppola, who has recently been Oscar nominated for the MOONRISE KINGDOM screenplay. This comedy promises a love story mixed with fantasy and stars Charlie Sheen, Jason Schwartzman, Patricia Arquette, Mary Elizabeth Winstead, and Bill Murray.

A GOOD DAY TO DIE HARD – This needless fifth entry into the once-proud DIE HARD franchise has recently been announced to have an R-rating; a relief for fans who were disappointed in the watered-down fourth DIE HARD film in 2007. The bad news is it is directed by John Moore (MAX PAYNE, THE OMEN remake), but the good news is Bruce Willis gets to act like a real John McClane again.

Next month: Episode II looks at March and April.

 

A Reel Opinion: Concerning the Oscar Nominations and Snubs

Nominations for the 85^th Academy Awards were announced late last week. Every year seems to hold a few surprises in scattered categories, with this year bringing about a triple shocker in the Best Directing competition. 

The nominees for Best Director are Steven Spielberg (LINCOLN), Ang Lee (LIFE OF PI), David O. Russell (SILVER LININGS PLAYBOOK), Benh Zeitlin (BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD), and Michael Haneke (AMOUR). 

What is shocking about the selections has to do with the people who aren’t there, more than the people who are. The entire world was expecting nominations for Ben Affleck, Kathryn Bigelow, and Tom Hooper. Cries of “snub” have been up and all over the internet, and perhaps for good reason. Affleck turned in his best directing effort to date with ARGO; as a friend of Reel Speak has said; he made moments like the simple act of characters waiting in line a nail-biter. Bigelow put together not only a nail-biter but a stunningly realistic and significant film with ZERO DARK THIRTY, and Tom Hooper turned the genre of musicals on film up on its head with the innovative, singing-live-on-set filming technique with LES MISERABLES.  A strong argument could be made for all three of these fine filmmakers. 

The problem is there are only five spots to compete for in the Best Directing category. If any one of the omitted three were to get in, who would we swap out in their place? Spielberg may have just directed Daniel Day-Lewis to an unprecedented third Oscar. Ang Lee may have created the most visually stunning film ever made. Michael Haneke’s AMOUR is one of the best reviewed films of the year. David O. Russell got the best performance out of Robert DeNiro in decades, and Benh Zeitlin directed a six year old girl to a Best Leading Actress nomination. A strong argument could certainly be made for all five of these fine filmmakers.

The bottom line is that this is a very competitive year, with many films and filmmakers eligible for mention in any internet argument or late-night drunken debate. With the Academy nominating between five and ten films for Best Picture with only five Best Director nominees, someone is bound to be left standing without a chair when the music stops; which doesn’t necessarily mean a knock or a jab against their filmmaking skills.

Despite not having a Directing nomination, ARGO, ZERO DARK THIRTY, and LES MISERABLES were still nominated for Best Picture. In the eighty-five year history of the Oscars, only three films have won Best Picture without a Best Director nomination, with the most recent being DRIVING MISS DAISY (1989).  So, there is hope for these movies, small as it is. If these nominations are any indication, Oscar Night (Feb. 24) should be full of surprises. 

What say you? 

A Reel Review: GANGSTER SQUAD

GANGSTER SQUAD was originally set to be released in September of 2012 before being delayed in order to re-shoot footage and edit around a scene involving a movie theatre shooting. (Read More) The big question going into the film on its new release is if the last-minute edits would be noticeable and possibly derail the film. Fear not, movie-buffs. The new scenes don’t do anything to ruin GANGSTER SQUAD, because the film has much bigger problems than that. 

In 1949 Los Angeles, ruthless gangster Mickey Cohen (Sean Penn) is running the city. The Chief of Police (Nick Nolte) assigns hard-nosed cop Sgt. O’Mara (Josh Brolin) to form a squad to take down Cohen. The squad involves Sgt. Jerry Wooters (Ryan Gosling), who falls into an affair with Cohen’s dame, Grace (Emma Stone). 

GANGSTER SQUAD is loaded up with every gangster cliché ever adapted. Everything from disfigured gangsters, whiskey flasks, tilted fedoras and dangling cigarettes are never off the screen. The film is very heavy on style. Normally that wouldn’t be a bad thing as the characters are fairly cool (and sexy) to look at, but director Ruben Fleischer relies on that style for everything. With so many familiar themes going on, the film falls into a generic, by-the-numbers story. The plot and characters become highly predictable, and GANGSTER SQUAD quickly becomes mundane. And for a film with so much reliance on look and style, there is very little zip or energy present. 

Fleischer doesn’t seem to know if he’s supposed to be making a parody or a serious drama, so he tries to do both and the confusion seems to trickle down to the characters. Everyone over-acts their parts to the point where the film feels like a STAR TREK episode in which the time-displaced crew has to dress up in costumes and act the parts out. 

The characters are very one-dimensional and never go any deeper than their wooden lines of dialogue. Attempts to wedge in a love story and a family life are made, but they come off as lame attempts because there just isn’t any heart to it. The character who suffers the most is the main villain. For as often as we see Cohen ruthlessly kill off rivals or his own men, we are never given a sense as to why it is so important that the city of L.A. be rid of him; how his actions or plans are affecting the city or the people is never explored. 

Acting is a mixed bag. Sean Penn chews up the scenery almost comically, and the heavy prosthetic makeup he has to wear completely buries his facial expressions. Ryan Gosling seems to just want to play Ryan Gosling, and Josh Brolin never gets to do anything but not smile the entire film. Nick Nolte must have been snockered when filming considering his grumble-garble, marbles-in-my-mouth performance, and the rest of the squad (Giovanni Ribisi, Anthony Mackie, Michael Pena, Robert Patrick), while entertaining, don’t get to do much. Faring the best is Emma Stone, who doesn’t have to do a lot other than wink and charm her way right off the screen and she does that perfectly. 

Despite some decent action scenes, GANGSTER SQUAD just feels very un-inspired and lazy. No risks are taken and no attempts are made to get beyond how cool people look in fedoras. There is nothing here to get shot up about. 

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it

A Reel Opinion: The Best & Worst Movies of 2012, Episode II

Last week, in Episode I, Reel Speak explored the biggest stinkers of 2012.(here) This second and final Episode praises the achievements.

2012 was a good year for film. This Blogger screened nearly 50 movies in the theatre this year, with 18 of them rising to the top. It was agonizing work whittling that 18 down to 10, and any one of those ten could be debated or argued into the No. 1 position. Some Very Honorable Mention needs to go to the films that just missed the Top 10 cut: BEASTS OF THE SOUTHERN WILD, ROBOT & FRANK, KILLER JOE, LOOPER, CLOUD ATLAS, SKYFALL, THE DARK KNIGHT RISES, and James Cameron’s outstanding TITANIC 3D conversion; all great experiences at the theatre.

To business…

Musicals on film can be a tough egg to crack, but Tom Hooper’s LES MISERABLES adaptation finishes as satisfying and filling as a ten-egg omelet. It has a perfect balance of being grand in scale and intimate with the characters; offering a gentle yet effective emotional journey.

Peter Jackson’s return to Middle-Earth with THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY may speak more to the JRR Tolkien fans and die-hard LORD OF THE RINGS film-buffs, but that doesn’t make it any less entertaining. Jackson lays down a thick and lush foundation for the next two chapters, while never forgetting to take care of enough business to make the first film a fulfilling journey.

For his second film in a row, Paul Thomas Anderson proves his superior skill in the craft of filmmaking, and in fleshing out a story involving characters who love to battle for another’s soul in THE MASTER. The will of wits between Joaquin Phoenix, Phillip Seymour Hoffman, and Amy Adams makes for the best ensemble acting performance of the year. Between the performances and the brilliant cinematography, it is tough to pull your eyes away from Anderson’s screen.

There are two ways to look at Steven Spielberg’s LINCOLN. The first is as if Steven found a way to get a C-SPAN camera into the chambers of Congress in the 1860’s. The second is a stageplay on screen. Either method works, as LINCOLN succeeds as an overall movie by having an important story to tell using characters with strong motivations. The heart of it all is Daniel Day-Lewis’ portrayal of Abe himself. Everyone expected a fire-and-brimstone performance, but instead got a gentle soul with a penchant for light jokes and good stories. Day-Lewis not only made the character human, but also the type of uncle, father, or grandfather you can’t wait to spend the holidays with; lovable yet demanding of your respect.

There are not enough words in the dictionary to describe the visual impact of Ang Lee’s LIFE OF PI; words like stunning, breathtaking, and beautiful only begin to scratch the surface. There are images here which the eyes can process but the brain will disbelieve, including a few which will tear out your heart. In addition to the visuals, Lee weaves a remarkable tale of survival while offering a thing or two about life as a whole. The ending may be frustrating upon first viewing, but the power of LIFE OF PI will eventually sink in upon some careful thought; for this is a story all about the magic and power of storytelling. There are many levels at work with this film, and that is a sign of greatness.

Joe Carnahan’s THE GREY looks like a great survival film, but similar to LIFE OF PI, it would be dismissive to call it just that. THE GREY above all else is one man’s spiritual journey to rediscover life, and he does so by facing death. At the center of it all is Liam Neeson’s deep and powerful performance; his best to date.  

Kathryn Bigelow’s ZERO DARK THIRTY is a remarkable film which will hang around your head for a long time. The climatic, harrowing raid on the compound feels so important because of the great steps taken to get there by its main character and gripping plot. It is innovating in its approach, masterful in its execution, and relentless in its honesty.

Joss Whedon’s THE AVENGERS deserves major praise for being the only film this year which had the ability to transform a movie-theatre into a frenzied Super Bowl crowd; cheering and clapping and losing their minds. AVENGERS has many crowd-pleasing moments but also works as an overall film because of its ability to give its many characters ample screentime and development. Characters are allowed to be themselves and their interactions and conflicts with each other drive the plot and never fails to entertain. Whedon’s final solution to bring all the heroes together is clever, appropriate, and one of the best cinematic themes of 2012. On top of it all, outsiders were more than welcome; not much comic-book homework was required to enjoy it.

Wes Anderson’s MOONRISE KINGDOM is hard evidence that even the oldest of all stories can still be effective, for as long as you keep the presentation fresh. MOONRISE is Anderson’s take on ROMEO AND JULIET; two young lovers being kept apart by the classes they belong to. In this case the setting is a quaint island village, and the young lovers are a pair of 12 year olds who seem to understand love and life better than their adult families and neighbors. It is Anderson’s “out of the mouths of babes” statement, and it makes for the most charming and sweetest film experience of 2012. Fans of Wes Anderson and his distinct style will lap this up, but it has just enough charm to bring in a newcomer or two.

For years, he was the biggest laughing stock and late-show joke in Hollywood. Today, he is one of the most respected directors in the business. His name is Ben Affleck, and his new film is ARGO. Based on the true events in which a CIA operative extracted U.S. hostages from Iran using a Hollywood sci-fi movie production as a cover story, ARGO reaches for and grabs many things all at once in its storytelling. It is a spy drama, a behind-the-scenes Hollywood flick, and a character piece with a sprinkle of well-timed comedy. It is the most well-rounded film of the year, and it re-creates an important part of history without getting preachy or self-important. As an added bonus, the eventual wrap drives home its theme by way of sci-fi film-geek twin-sun passion, the type of passion which ARGO oozes with.
Ar-Go see this movie without hesitation.

THE BEST MOVIES OF 2012

10. LES MISERABLES

9. THE HOBBIT: AN UNEXPECTED JOURNEY
8. THE MASTER
7. LINCOLN
6. LIFE OF PI
5. THE GREY
4. ZERO DARK THIRTY
3. THE AVENGERS
2. MOONRISE KINGDOM
1. ARGO

 

A Reel Review: ZERO DARK THIRTY

Understand this about ZERO DARK THIRTY: during the final thirty minutes, which portrays the now infamous Navy SEAL raid on Osama Bin-Laden’s fortified compound…you will not blink. You will not move. You will not flex a muscle. You may even forget to breathe. It is realistically tense and scary; dropping you right into the situation as if you were a fly on the muzzle of a rifle. It is a remarkable, gripping piece of filmmaking which is unforgettable not just because of the way it is filmed and presented, but also because of the journey taken to get there. 

Maya (Jessica Chastain), is a CIA operative who spends the first seven years of her career hunting down Osama Bin-Laden (referred to as UBL); the man responsible for the 9/11 terrorist attacks. 

Director Kathryn Bigelow pulls you into the moment right away with ZERO DARK THIRTY by re-living the events of 9/11 by simply using the sounds of the actual 9-1-1 distress calls. From that harrowing opening on, you are hooked and along for the ride now that you’ve been reminded about the importance of the film’s ultimate goal: find and kill UBL. From there the film slowly unfolds the many events which took place during the near-decade long manhunt, from dead-end leads to CIA interrogation/torture to political in-fighting. The film is presented as if we are a fly-on-the-wall during the proceedings; there is no over-acting, over-scoring or over-dramatic moments. Everything is presented in real-time and makes for a very engaging trip. 

At the heart of it all is Maya. We don’t get to know her very well as far as personal life or backstory (we don’t even know if Maya is her real name or a code-name), as ZERO DARK THIRTY is all about business. We see the film and the events through Maya’s eyes, and with her we feel every stumble and roadblock, and are with her as she loses friends and colleagues during the seemingly insurmountable task she is assigned. Furthering the thickness of the plot is Maya’s struggles to prove herself in a male-dominated society. It is never heavy-handed and doesn’t derail the film or stick out like a sore thumb, and adds to the eventual relief and emotional elation we feel with her once the destination is reached. 

ZERO DARK THIRTY’s destination, the raid on the compound, is nothing short of a cinematic miracle. In the moments leading up to the landing, Bigelow builds a slow tension which will have hearts beating through chests. Once the engagement begins, the darkness of the environment and the unfolds like a great horror film; who or what is behind the next door or corner has never been more frightening or breathtaking. The raid also has excellent use of the night-vision; putting us right in the moment and on the ground with the troops. 

Jessica Chastain owns the film, and there is never a moment when we’re not on board with everything she has to overcome. The cast is quite large, and many characters flux in and out of the story as the years go by. Everyone nails their parts perfectly; Kyle Chandler, James Gandolfini, Joel Edgerton, Chris Pratt, Mark Strong, Jennifer Ehle, Mark Duplass, and Edgar Ramirez are all excellent, and the smaller parts never feel like an intrusive cameo. As great as Chastain is, the film is nearly stolen by Jason Clarke, who as a CIA interrogator is a fearsome force to be reckoned with. 

The real triumph of ZERO DARK THIRTY is not just its realism, but that even though we already know the outcome, we are often left to wonder just how in the heck our characters will pull off that outcome. The end of the manhunt is an emotional punch, made effective by the long and worthwhile journey taken to get there. ZERO DARK THIRTY isn’t just a film to watch, but a film to experience; an experience that won’t leave you easily. That is a mark of great filmmaking. 

BOTTOM LINE: See it

A Reel Opinion: The Best & Worst Movies of 2012, Episode I

The year that was 2012 continued many trends of the past decade; reboots, remakes, adaptations, and 3D experiments with only a handful of original ideas. Many of these trends worked, some didn’t. This Blogger was savvy enough to avoid obvious stinkers and critical floaters in the form of TAKEN 2, BATTLESHIP, THE WATCH, THIS MEANS WAR, anything involving Adam Sandler or Tyler Perry, or what seems like the 578^th RESIDENT EVIL film. This list of Worst Movies of 2012 are films which could have, or should have been good, with a few which could or should have been great.

To be clear, the inclusion of STAR WARS EPISODE I THE PHANTOM MENACE 3D on this Worst list has nothing to do with the content of the film itself, but with the terrible conversion and presentation in (goddamn) 3D. The picture was muddy and lifeless; feeling like the film was being viewed through an empty milk-glass. The vibrant colors that EPISODE I was known for were dulled down to a shade uglier than battleship-grey; making for one of the most miserable and disappointing experiences at the movie theatre, ever.

Utter disappointment is exactly why Sir Ridley Scott’s PROMETHEUS makes the list. Sir Scott’s long-awaited return to the ALIEN-universe resulted in a narrative mess loaded with lapses in logic and plot holes large enough to fly a spaceship through. The film is not as smart as it thinks it is; raising a million questions and answering none of them while being more concerned with setting up another movie instead of taking care of its own business. Its uncertain status as a kinda-sorta prequel to ALIEN added to the galactic kick to the frustrated nards.

If you were a fan of the book from which THE HUNGER GAMES was adapted from, you probably loved the film. If you had not read the books and were just out to see a good movie, you are probably still wondering what all the fuss is about. HUNGER was hampered by a dumber-than-a-bag-of-shit premise and cardboard characters you wouldn’t give a flying fart about. This is as one-dimensional as it gets, and a perfect example of what happens when a film relies too much on an audience being familiar with the source material.

It seems like we can’t get through a year without Tim Burton squeezing out another turd. His DARK SHADOWS adaptation was a dull and lifeless and bloated film, with some of the stupidest moments in history involving a battle scene and a shotgun. Burton managed to jump the shark and nuke the fridge all in one film with this overstuffed turkey.

Bill Murray’s performance as the great FDR was fantastic, which makes HYDE PARK ON HUDSON all the more tragic. Around Murray is a whole lot of nothing. Literally, nothing. HUDSON gives nothing of interest in character or plot, and is an absolute overdose of sleeping pills when Murray is off-screen.

Some of the best stories ever written have come out of the Greek tales, which why it is maddening that we can’t get a decent film involving the Greek gods, monsters, titans, and heroes. WRATH OF THE TITANS was all about its visuals (which were very good in 3D), and spent no time on its characters or its messy plot. The title of the film is also a false promise, as only one goddamn titan shows up and isn’t very wrathful.

The latest adaptation of Phillip K. Dick’s novel, “We Remember it for You Wholesale”, came at us like a rolling ball of manure. TOTAL RECALL featured a leading man with the charisma of a wet noodle (Colin Farrell), and a plot that was as interesting as a doorknob. Director Len Wiseman gives us a by-the-numbers film which failed to entertain or engage; proving that predictable often leads to boring.

HOLY MOTORS was a small indie film which had been picking up rave reviews and festival accolades all year long. Upon viewing however, nothing but frustration can be found. MOTORS is a very ambiguous film with a whole lot of weirdness. Normally that is fine, providing the ending can answer a few questions. However, MOTORS does no such thing and just wraps everything with more weirdness. Absolutely nothing is explained, leaving us to wonder if the director even knew what the whole ride was supposed to be about.

A movie should never be boring. That is Rule No. 1. That goes double for a superhero movie, and triple for a Spider-Man movie. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN was a reboot of a well-established franchise, and failed to justify its existence by bringing a joyless and dour affair which was no fun whatsoever. A superhero film that’s no fun: traditionally not amazing.

If you are still looking for the silver lining in the recent Disney/Lucasfilm merger, you need not look any further than Lucasfilm’s RED TAILS. The idea behind this film was to be a literal adaptation of a WWII propaganda comic book, with literal being the key word. The film kept the comic format of awful and cheesy dialogue, undeveloped characters, dull plotlines and massive leaps in movie-logic. How bad was it? This Blogger nearly walked out after five minutes. And worse, the great and important story of the famed Tuskegee Airman is treated like crap; an important part of American history ruined on the big screen. Mickey and Donald and Goofy can’t come in and clean house soon enough.

THE WORST MOVIES OF 2012

10. STAR WARS EPISODE I: THE PHANTOM MENACE 3D
9. PROMETHEUS
8. THE HUNGER GAMES
7. DARK SHADOWS
6. HYDE PARK ON HUDSON
5. WRATH OF THE TITANS
4. TOTAL RECALL
3. HOLY MOTORS
2. THE AMAZING SPIDER-MAN
1. RED TAILS

Next week: The Best of 2012

                                                                                                                          

 

A Reel Opinion: A LES MISERABLES Follow-up

 

Tom Hooper’s newest adaptation of LES MISERABLES appears to be a solid success, with good money at the box office and many post-year award nominations for directing and acting. However, many fans of the original stage musical have expressed disgust over major Hollywood stars being cast in the film over original stage performers who have been living and working the material for years. It can be argued that the film would have been better if the keys to the kingdom were handed over to the experienced caretakers, instead of a cast of newcomers.

So why, indeed?

The cold, harsh answer is that stars sell tickets. No one is going to flock to the movie theatre to see a film full of names they have never heard of. Sure, the stage fans would come, but movies need to speak to a wider audience, and having the faces of major stars is the way to bring them all in. If LES MIS went the route of casting names unknown to film fans, the movie could very well have been a major flop, and that is never good for the industry.

Filmmakers do value the art, but they have to value the dollar as well. Forget for a minute that the stars will make a few million for their work. The film industry is just that, an industry. It is a way of life and a livelihood not just for actors, directors, writers and producers, but also for set-builders, costume-makers, dialogue-coaches, electricians, caterers, artists, and a thousand other jobs. Movies need to make money. If not, then there will be no more movies.

Director Tom Hooper knows that, but he also seems to acknowledge the fans of the stage by casting a couple of very talented actors who have performed LES MIS off-screen. Samantha Barks (Eponine) and Colm Wilkinson (the Bishop) both have stage experience and hold high-regard amongst fans of the stage. A small compromise, but a compromise nonetheless.

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LES MISERABLES is currently in theatres. It is directed by Tom Hooper (THE KING’S SPEECH), and stars Hugh Jackman, Anne Hathaway, Russell Crowe, Amanda Seyfried, Sacha Baron Cohen, and Helena Bonham Carter.