There are two ways in which one can look at THE LAST STAND;
Arnold Schwarzenegger’s first leading-role in nearly a decade. The first way is
how it holds up as an Arnold Film; with his classic quips and plenty of action.
The second is how it fares as an actual movie, which of course, is what really
matters.
Ray Owens (Schwarzenegger) is “da sheriff” in a sleepy town
on the Mexican border. When a drug kingpin (Eduardo Noriega) escapes the FBI
(led by Forest Whitaker) with the help of his right-hand man (Peter Stormare)
and heads for the border, Owens rallies his rag-tag group of knucklehead
deputies (Luis Guzman, Johnny Knoxville, Jaimie Alexander, Zach Gilford) to
seal off the town and prevent his escape.
THE LAST STAND works as a Schwarzenegger vehicle for exactly
one-half of the film. Arnold gets to fire big guns, fist-fight, rip-off some
great one-liners and look cool standing against the horizon. The cleverest
thing about the film is that the entire script seems to be a statement on his
career as it stands at this point. Owens is a character who once tackled the
world with the enthusiasm and zeal of a young man, but is now taking things
easy and is very much aware of his age and limitations…which is exactly how
Arnold is now in his life. Between that interesting parallel and the standard
quips you expect from an Arnold film (except for one particular line), THE LAST STAND rears some great
potential.
Unfortunately, director Jee-woon Kim doesn’t keep the
momentum going whenever he finds it. The film veers away from Arnold for long
stretches of time; often putting the big guy and his never-ending charisma on
the backburner while attention is given to useless and boring subplots involving
the minor characters which no one ever cares about. Character development only
happens whenever a character stands there and literally tells us about
themselves (weak), and the main threat of the villain is never really felt.
The action sequences range from pretty good to outrageously
over the top. Blood is splattered in gallons and plenty of bodies are blown
all over the place. As much we see of it, however, it feels very un-inspired
and often grows tedious.
Acting is ho-hum throughout. Arnold gives us exactly, if not
a little less than what we’ve seen of him for the past three decades. He’s
still very much a charmer, but seems to struggle more than usual with the
comedy. He’s at his best when he’s paired with his natural sidekick in the form
of Johnny Knoxville’s bug-nuts character, but the film never bothers to put the
two together enough for it to be very effective.
As an Arnold Schwarzenegger film, it easily ranks around the
lower-tier of his extensive film credits. As an overall movie, the script is
messy and relies on cliché too much. It comes off as dumb and boring, and no
amount of Giant Movie Star can save it.
BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it
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