A Reel Review: THE GREEN LANTERN

So everyone likes to ask: by what criteria or rules do you use to judge a good superhero movie? The answer, as elusive as it is to some, and debatable as it is to others, is really simple; you use the same goddamn criteria or rules that apply to any other film that has conflict and/or good vs. evil. That translates to (1) A good story, (2) An interesting villain, and (3) a hero that we really give a shit about. On top of all that, it’s always a good idea to make a movie for everybody, and not just the comic-book fans. Alienation can sink things in a hurry.

Hal Jordan (Ryan Reynolds) is a cocky fighter jet pilot who tests jets for a large aeronautic company. At the helm of the company is Hal’s gal Carol (Blake Lively). Meanwhile, across the far reaches of space, The Green Lanterns, the guardians of peace and justice across the galaxy, face a vicious threat in the form of the Parallax, a big skull with tentacles that can destroy planets. After facing the Parallax, a dying Lantern sends his ring to Earth, where it chooses Jordan to become the guardian of his own planet. Along the way, Dr. Hector (Peter Sarsgaard) becomes infected with some fucking thing that is never defined, and gains super brain-power.

THE GREEN LANTERN pulls no punches in setting up, and living in its universe. A lot of it seems ridiculous, and it is, but that is something that comes with the territory in a GREEN LANTERN movie adaptation (we guess). The answer to counter the super-high concept is to ground it with something the audience can relate to, and LANTERN stumbles with that. Jordan not only comes off as unlikeable, but the attempts to make him human by way of a father-son backstory come off as forced and cliché.

For a superhero film, LANTERN has slower-than-shit pacing that sucks the energy out of the room; scene after scene of talktalktalktalktalktalk. When the action does come, it’s done by way of CGI overload, and it often feels like we’re watching a cartoon. The film comes off as boring, and that’s a sin for any movie, let alone a super one.

Reynolds does okay with what he’s given to work with, and his range seems to be exposed as he struggles to be convincing when acting against CGI characters. Sarsgaard works the most, but ultimately comes off as cartoonish as everything else. Blake Lively’s love-interest character is just a generic pair of legs.

As a film, it doesn’t work as the characters are shallow and the threat is a bore. As a superhero film, it also stumbles as it fails to do anything fresh with the new hero struggling with his new responsibilities. Comic-fans may be pleased at the way Jordan materializes random objects with his ring to use as weapons, but newcomers may feel like they are watching a remake of THE MASK.

THE GREEN LANTERN seems to be very faithful to its comic origins, which makes it a hard sell to anyone outside of the hardcore fanbase. Any person who never wore Green Lantern underoos is not going to find much to latch onto.

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it