A Reel Review: THE PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME

Famed movie/TV producer Jerry Bruckheimer has more buck$ than Buck Rogers. With endless amounts of moolah spilling from his pockets, the man should have enough pull to put together an epic period piece than can entertain and reach the upper-echelons good film. Instead of purchasing a decent script and spending time on characterization, ol’ Bruck and director Mike Newell instead spend too much time on CGI overload and cliché dialogue and characters. The end result is THE PRINCE OF PERSIA: THE SANDS OF TIME, just another big-budget shit squeezed out of the Hollywood sphincter.

Prince Dastan (Jake Gyllenhall), is the adapted son of a great king. He grows up with two brothers and his uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley), and becomes a great warrior. When he and his brothers, along with the Persian army raid a great city in search of weapons, they discover a mysterious princess (Tamina, played by Gemma Arterton), who guards a dagger which can turn back time. Dastan is eventually mixed up in a family plot to overthrow the king and is framed for murder. Dastan, along with the princess, then embark upon a series of adventures to clear his name and to bring the dagger back to where it belongs to prevent the end of their worlds.

PERSIA just comes across as air-headed for a lot of reasons. The main story revolves around Dastan and the dagger; He needs it to clear his name, and the princess needs it to keep things in the correct mystical order. Dastan’s predicament as a fugitive (hunted by his brothers) is meant to draw emotion, but it is barely brushed upon. Very little connection is felt with the hero of this film, as he is written poorly with lame lines and no depth. The dialogue is very Hollywood and sounds too contemporary.

To make up for things, PERSIA presents action sequences that are over-the-top and way off the world of reality. Things like gravity are thrown out the window, and there is little to believe in. This film was based upon a video game, and it feels like it. The sequences are so out there you can practically feel the controller in your hand. This is a video-game adaptation that was done too faithfully.

Acting: nothing to write home about. Gyllenhall is horribly miscast, and is not believable as an action hero or as a loving brother/ son. Arterton’s princess has the most potential, but she does little but recite prophecy and make googly eyes at Dastan. Kingsley is wasted here and is instantly forgettable. Alfred Molina shows up in a lame attempt at comic relief, and draws attention to the political undertones of the film (over taxation, searching for weapons that don’t exist), which becomes just annoying.

The technical work is poor as well. Fast and slow motion segments are thrown in to seemingly beef up the very-plainly shot landscape. Some problems in the editing room seem to have been present, as poor continuity and jump-scenes are present throughout. The score sounds like a re-hash from THE MUMMY.

PERSIA relies on a lot of CGI, and none of it is convincing. Director Newell (who did DONNIE BRASCO and HARRY POTTER 4), seems completely out of his element, as the amount of green-screen and CG landscapes are un-imaginative and dull.

Where the budget went to in this mess is a good question.

BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it.