Years from now, this version of CLASH OF THE TITANS may serve as the perfect example of a big-budget soup sandwich. Horrible scripting that is inconsistent and devoid of any heart is the downfall here, despite a somewhat valiant effort to impress with visuals. Flat, boring, and devoid of any dread or danger, this is a dud that sinks faster than the Kraken after an encounter with Medusa.
Having witnessed his adopted parents drown in the aftershocks of Hades’(Ralph Fiennes) attack on mortals, young Perseus (Sam Worthington), who also happens to be the son of Zeus (Liam Neeson), sets out on a quest of revenge against the Greek gods. Aided by a gaggle of soldiers (who come off as lumbering dumbasses), Perseus seeks to thwart the gods’ plans to wipe out the city of Argos with their superbeast Kraken.
TITANS fails mostly because of the weak portrayal of Perseus. While Worthington does an okay job with the role, it’s the writing that kills the hero of the story. This Perseus is driven by revenge, and it’s difficult to feel empathy with a vengeance-bent character. The lack of interaction between Perseus and the princess Andromeda (Alexa Davalos) strips the film of any heart. Andromeda is offered up as a sacrifice to the Kraken to save the city (although it’s never clear if that will work or not), and this Perseus seems to not care about her as much as getting payback. With the hero not caring, the audience is not going to care either. What makes things laughable is the character is supposed to be a humble fisherman, and yet he manages to rattle off these BRAVEHEART-like, rally-the-troops monologues that are so far out of character it’s awful.
The portrayal of the gods is also a disappointment. Liam Neesons’ Zeus is a wasted opportunity, as he seems to be more of a grump than a being that seeming should be full of wisdom. Ralph Fiennes is perfectly cast as Hades only because he and Neeson actually look like brothers, but nothing else is very compelling about him. He is not diabolical or despicable, and that makes him a boring villain. He also speaks in the exact same voice he uses for the POTTER films, and is sure to roll some eyeballs in the audience. The usually wonderful and strong Danny Huston is nicely cast as Poseidon, but is tragically reduced to one, ONE line in the entire film. Wasteful.
CGI work is hit and miss. Pegasus probably looks the best and most convincing, while everything else is just obvious and not very convincing. Probably suffering the most is Medusa, who wouldn’t scare a two-year old in this cartoonish rendition.
Lifeless and clumsy, this TITANS barely manages to hold interest let alone entertain. It may also serve as the perfect example of what happens when the writing stage of filmmaking is taken too lightly.
BOTTOM LINE: Fuck it.
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This movie was doomed from the start. You can tell by the trailers alone that the primary objective of the filmmakers was to make money by having big things fight each other. Nobody said to anybody else "I have a great idea for a story". I'd be hard pressed to believe that anyone in the entire production even said the word story.
ReplyDeleteMy rule for seeing movies in theaters in 2010 is simple: If the trailer doesn't tell me what the story is, I'm forced to assume that there is none, and I'm staying home. Needless to say, I did not see this new Clash of the Titans, and I'm in no hurry to do so, either.